


Folie à Bear Man

by bishopsknifepatrick



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Andy is besties with all the wives and it's amazing, F/M, He's trying to befriend a bear, Pete is crazy, Pete won't chill, Sorry guys, This is something, a real life bear, all the Fall Out Babies being cute with their parents, and then it turned into this, he won't let this go, he's also the best uncle, it all started when Pete posted the video of the rhino, it's really cute, just let him hug the bear, no gay fanfic today, see what happens, that likely wants to eat him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8835028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishopsknifepatrick/pseuds/bishopsknifepatrick
Summary: Fall Out Boy, their wives and their children all go to the zoo and have a great time. It would all be much better if Pete wasn't trying to jump in the bear enclosure every 6 seconds.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After Pete posted a video of a rhino, Kell and I made a joke that if Pete went to the zoo, he'd want to hug the bear and well...this now exists. 
> 
> Hope you like it!!!

Once the guys, wives and their children showed up, the zoo was much more crowded. 

 

Patrick and Elisa were walking alongside each other with Declan in between the, holding onto either parent's hand. “How about we go see the penguin exhibit first?” Elisa said to the rest of the group.

 

Ruby and Saint clapped excitedly, tugging on their parents arms. “Okay, let’s go,” Joe said. Bronx led the group, with the three younger children sticking close to him. 

 

All the dads kept close to the kids to keep an eye on them, while Andy, Meagan, Elisa and Marie trailed behind, as Andy was babbling on about all the new cooking recipes and mommy life hacks he had found since they had all been together last."So anyways I was trying to think of something new to spice up dinner at home—you won't believe how delicious the rice I made last night was!” All the ladies giggled (could you blame them?). "Oh my god Elisa, I totally forgot, I found this new blog of vegan and vegetarian meals, I'll send you the link!"

 

"Awesome, Andy, thank you!" Elisa said excitedly.

 

“pATRICK! PATRICK LOOK IT’S A FUCKING BEAR!" Pete said, aggressively poking Patrick in the arm.

 

Meagan spoke up from behind them, “Pete, honey, please do not jump into the enclosure, you will die."

 

“I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT MEAGAN, SHUSH!” Pete said, already running in the direction of the bear cage. Pete was a grown man, he could handle himself, right?

 

The rest kept in the direction to the penguins. When they reached the exhibit, they was a large group of the people making it impossible for the kids to anything. "Uncle Andy, can I get up on your shoulders? I can't see,” Ruby asked.

 

“Of course dear,” Andy said, lifting her up and setting her on his shoulders. A smile spread across her face when she could finally see the animals. 

 

“I'm gonna go see if Pete has been ate by the bear yet, I'll be back in a second,” Patrick said.

 

“Wait!” Declan said running up to his father, “Can I come with you?”

 

Patrick looked at Elisa for approval, receiving a nod in return. “Come on buddy,” he said taking his hand.

 

“Ruby! Andy! Smile!” Marie said, holding up her camera, a flash of light following. 

 

“Do you guys want to see the hippos?” The kids cheered yes and then they all started walking. Ruby tapped Andy’s shoulders signalling for him to put her down and when he did she took off in the direction of the hippos. Joe was alarmed because he could no longer see Ruby, which made him chase after her, picking her up once he found her.

 

Eventually they all made it to the hippopotamus enclosure, this time not many people surrounding the fence. 

 

“Uncle Andy, what is that?” Saint questioned.

 

“That's a hippopotamus, Saint.”

 

“I want one!”

 

“Wait for Christmas bud,” Andy smiled. “I'll buy you a toy one because taking animals from their habitats is terrible, okay?” Saint nodded as they walked across the pathway.

 

Conveniently, the bears were directly across from the hippos, where you could see Pete trying to climb over the fence, Patrick grabbing onto his foot, preventing him from moving further and Pete shook his foot to get him to stop. Declan was down below on the ground, watching with interest as his father and uncle were arguing. “Pete, get down!”

 

“Noooo,” Pete refused.

 

“Guys, Pete is trying to get into the bear enclosure and Patrick is having a hard time holding him by the ankle someone should go get him,” Andy pointing towards the chaos. 

 

Declan, who was not being watched because of Uncle Pete and his dream of hugging a bear, had started wandering towards the fence. Andy rushed over and picked him up, holding him in his arms. Declan was looking around, taking notice of the zebra enclosure. Beginning to move his arms up and down, hitting Andy in the process, he pointed towards the black and white striped animals, “Uncle Andy, zebra cage.”

 

“Just wait a second buddy, I gotta go help you daddy get uncle Pete away from the bear.”

 

“Uncle Pete getting ate by a bear in not my problem,” the child said. 

 

At the fence, Patrick had given up and let Pete climb the fencing. Elisa noticed, “Patrick! You let him go?!?”

 

“Elisa, Pete getting ate by a bear is not my problem.”

 

“PATRICK!”

 

“I want zebras!” Declan said.

 

“Let the bear eat him!” Ruby said, from Joe’s arms. Joe had completely blocked out the whole bear fiasco as he had been showing Ruby all the other different animals in view.

 

“Oh my fu- I mean gosh darnit Pete, not again,” Joe said, catching himself midway.

 

Bronx spoke up, "Uncle Joe were you about to say fu—"

 

“BRONX MOWGLI WENTZ" Meagan yelled.

 

After about half an hour, while the ladies had taken the kids to see the zebras and various other animals, Joe, Andy and Patrick finally had got Pete down from the fence. 

 

///

 

The group was nearing the exit gates when Elisa took a look at the group, realizing someone was missing. “Patrick, where’s Pete?” That one sentence had got all of their attention. Patrick, Joe and Andy all looked at each other, realizing exactly where he had gone. They took off, leaving the ladies and children, and ran, guiding themselves through the crowds of people. 

 

They reached the bear cage, just in time to see Pete halfway up the steel rails. 

 

“PETE!” It got his attention, but he still continued. Joe grabbed his right arm, while Patrick grabbed his left and Andy wrapping his arms around his waist trying to lift him down.

 

“I WANNA CUDDLE WINNIE POOH RIGHT NOW!”

 

“IT’S NOT EVEN WINNIE THE POOH! IT WILL KILL YOU!” Joe screamed back at him.

 

“SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY FUCKING GOOD WAY TO GO!” Eventually, even with how resistant Pete was, they had got him to let go. 

 

“Okay, I'll stop, I'm sorry.”

 

“It's okay, just please calm down and stop trying to get yourself killed,” they had decided to not hold him against his will, which turned out to be a bad idea. Pete had turned, preparing to run back to the enclosure, right when Andy grabbed his collar making Pete bounce back, “Ow ow ow ow ow.” Andy dragged him the rest of the way out of the park.

 

“God damnit Pete, shouldn’t you have learned by now?” Patrick asked.

 

“But I want to touch the bear.”

 

“You'll never be able to play bass again because it would bite you immediately,” Joe piped up. 

 

"Joseph, that is a risk I'm willing to take,” Pete said with a serious face. They returned to the wives and kids and headed for their cars.

 

“Bronx, watch your father while I put Saint in the car seat,” Meagan said.

 

“Okay Meagan,” he said, before traipsing over to Pete. “Dad, you’re really dumb sometimes.”

 

“Meagan, he just called me dumb!”

 

“Well, he isn't wrong,” she said, agreeing with Bronx.

 

“Meagan!”

 

“Pete, no, you're in trouble and he’s right.”

 

“But-” Pete started before being cut off.

 

“I’ll throw you in the lion pit.”

 

“Nobody asked you Patrick!” Pete said while Patrick was buckling up Declan.

 

Meagan looked up after setting Saint in his seat, “Go sit in the car now.”

 

“But the bear!”

 

“Peter.”

 

“Shut up Andy!” Pete made his walk of shame over to the passenger seat. “Now, I think we have him under control,” almost if on cue, they saw Pete running through the parking lot. Just as he think he has gotten away, Joe swoops in, tackling him to the ground.

 

“YOU CAN’T FUCKING HUG A BEAR MAN!” Joe yelled. 

 

“YES, I CAN, JOE!”

 

“WHY AREN’T YOU TIRED YET? YOU’RE NEARLY FORTY!”

 

“YOU CAN’T TIRE OUT A BEAR MAN,” Pete screamed back.

 

“Shut up, Pete,” Joe said, his calmness returning.

 

Andy chirped in, “What do you even think is going to happen when you get in there?"

 

"We're going to cuddle and become best friends and it will be the best time ever and none of you are invited,” Pete said with too much confidence.

 

"Or maybe you'll die.”

 

“NOBODY FUCKING ASKED YOU PATRICK!”

 

“Pete, the kids!” Marie said.

 

“Sorry, Marie,” he said apologetically.

 

Bronx then walked over to his dad, who was still sitting on the ground, “Dad, you’re embarrassing us all.”

 

“That’s the Wentz way, B!”

 

“Pete, for the love of God, just get in the car,” Patrick said tired from all the running back and forth.

 

Since Saint hadn't been buckled yet, he had slid out the seat and was out of the car, on the ground, walking towards his father. He was carrying his small, white stuffed bear. He made it to his Pete, holding out his bear, “This bear will hug you back.”


End file.
